I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
