do herpes really smell.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
