Do you still have your period?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
