What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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