Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
