I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
