I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
