VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
