Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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