How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
