Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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