i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
