Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
