when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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