Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
