apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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