I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Your cock deserves a montage
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
