We should be called the Road Head Warriors
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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