Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
