Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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