I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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