he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
