hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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