420 ftw
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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