4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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