its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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