I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
