My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
