New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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