Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
