It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
