im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
