By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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