i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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