Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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