At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize