I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
