is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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