i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
