Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
