i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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