Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
