that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
