That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
