god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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