we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
