This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
