the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
