Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
