I didn't shave. On purpose
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
