shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
