I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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